23.

What happened to Dr. Fetus' mother?

He killed her after he decided that she was inferior and weak, she couldn't even give birth to him right.

What happened to Doctor Fetus' father?

[swimming]

Have a heart attack. 

You are marooned on a island. You only have enough energy to either swim to a boat swimming by, or stay on the island with 12 beautiful women a laptop and a copy of Meat Boy.

Well, if the laptop never ran out of battery or I could run it on some magic coconut batteries, I'd stay on the island. But if not, then I'd have to go swim out to this boat that can swim 

You are happily married to the women of your dreams, and after years of trying, she finally gets pregnant. Unfortunately, 7 months into the pregnancy something goes wrong, and your wife undergoes an emergency procedure. The doctors tell you that the baby is alive, but is suffering from a rare condition that means it will never grow and shall remain a fetus for the rest of it's life; and as a result must be kept in a womb-like environment atop a robotic frame.
You realise that your son is Doctor Fetus. How do you react / What do you do?

Spam Wars: A New Hope

Spam Wars: The Mods Strike Back

Spam Wars: Return of the Megamew

I keep the money, and buy over 9000 copies of SMB.

You wake up in an alternative dimension, identical to ours except that there is no SMB! What do you do?

That was tweeted by Edmund days ago, and you can't embed videos here.

Still, I can't be the only one on the forums who doesn't use twitter.... right?

Saw this and thought it was pretty funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6U8CWkkJks

Not made by me

(also, any way to embed youtube videos?)

Crossposting from one of his top-notch topics:

oh man i was like WOAH ITS RUSSIA but then i was all WHAAAAAAAT THAT PICTURE WITH THE WOMAN WITH HER BAZOONGAS OUT GOT GRASS RUSSIAS TOO COLD FOR THAT so yeah

He is clearly ahead of the times

!Gilipollas¡

Fortunately, Doctor Fetus is completely immune to flying furniture of all varieties.

But then Doctor Fenus did horrible things to him in a dark alley!

Doctor Fetus found out, and sued Fenus for infringing on his name.

Yeah, lol wut? Why would you need to zoom in or out at all?

Anyway, a 3DS version of SMB could be cool, but I'd kind of be more interested to see a new project from Team Meat on the platform.

Fap fap fap away to my new and improved porn collection of course


You have just finished a very large and pleasurable bowel movement, when you turn and look in the bowl to find Brownie 
wat do

I would pretend the post isn't there, but only because it told me to, but because I pretended it doesn't exist it doesn't tell me to pretend it doesn't exist so I would pretend it does, but it would tell me to pretend it doesn't exist...

You are trapped in a building with a long line of fire with the exit (and bandage girl) on the other side. How do you get out?

Walk straight thru the fire to the exit and become Medium-Well Done Meat Boy 

You've just inherited the SMB franchise and complete knowledge of the game. What do you do next?

Its not really Team Meat/Nintendo's problem though.  I'm sure people have smashed keyboards/thrown 360 controllers already, but you don't hear anything about it because no one really gives a shit about the raging on overly aggressive gamers ('cept Fox News maybe)

I can see the news report now: 8 year old child goes blind after playing a horrifically violent video game called Super Meat Boy on his 3DS. After realising he was blind he threw his 3DS, hitting his baby sister in the head and giving her permanent brain damage. Obviously this was all a result of violent video games, we've got a specialist here to tell you all about it, he has a PhD in Veganism and knows all about video games.
Coming up next: Terrorists are using clouds as WMDs

I want to attach a car to the side of a skyscraper and lounge inside it.

Would you accept a tent attached to the side of a mountain?