Chapter 4: Fistful of Fetishes
Seat Boy had fallen into a pile of living Toilet Paper! They wrapped themselves around him, covering his entire body. Seat Boy struggled to survive, as the living Toilet Paper strangled him. This was worse then last Traumatizing Tuesday. Seat Boy shivered.
He needed to find that fatal flaw - that key weakness that would bring victory to him on a fine, golden plate, with a side order of fries.
Then he found it, that key element that gave him the advantage - they were Living Toilet Paper! He easily tore them away, and defeated the mighty monster that had intimidated him so much in the past.
He climbed up a mountain, thinking of Bondage Girl and sick things that should not be described, ever, for if they were ever spoken, the language they were spoken in would instantly become a demonic language, and a holiday shall be made where people insult said language and talk to other people about how much they hate it.
His thoughts kept him from noticing the slow transition from dirty mountain to metal wall. The top was an extremely clean metal surface, with a button labeled 'Warning: DO NOT PRESS'.
Using his knowledge of Villains, collected from decades of brainless TV and games with extremely retarded plots, he pressed it, knowing that this would be extremely good for him...
... Or not. The metal surface opened up, and an entire room flew into the air. Crownie jumped out, his crown shaped head glistening in the blazing sunlight, charged straight at Seat Boy.
He screamed, "GOD DAMN IT, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PRESS THAT BUTTON?!" Seat Boy jumped backwards, his hand nearing his Seat-spawning buttocks.
He calmly said, "Because hey, it told you guys not to press that button. And I am your enemy. That means it doesn't apply to me."Crownie sat and pondered it. His face turned to a curious state, then quickly he became even more irritated than before.
He charged at Seat Boy, and Seat Boy quickly stepped out of the way.
He pulled a fresh Seat out of his red ass, spun around, and threw it at Crownie, the impact throwing him off the edge of the metal surface, and down the mountain.
Seat Boy calmly said to himself, "Oh you dashing little boy, everybody's just FALLING in love with you."A grin emerged on his face after that comment, and he continued onwards. He jumped down into the hole where Crownie's room had once been. There were a few doors, each one carefully marked.
One was marked, "Dr. Fenus' lab secret entrance", the other, "Bathroom", and the last, "Cookie Storage".
The Bathroom had a bunch of metal and wooden slabs keeping it shut from the outside. Seat Boy pondered why, but he knew there was no time to waste. He had to go into only one of these doors, and the choice was obvious.
He ran into the "Cookie Storage" door, and found it leading to two elevators. He went into the blue one, because blue is a badass color. He pressed the 'DOWN' button and waited for what seemed to be a week, with the elevator playing music that was practically made up of swears, the Lyrics went something like, "Fucking shit in the ass every day of my goddamn shitty ass liiiiife".
When he finally got out, he was sleep deprived, starving, and extremely pissed off.
He looked back, and saw that the Elevator's sign said, "Elevator". In small letters underneath, it said, "Warning: Time Warp inside - users may spend between one day to four hundred and twenty years inside the two minute ride."
He screamed a multitude of swears in a language he created while trapped in the Time Warp elevator for the week.
When he turned around he saw that Bondage Girl was free and whipping the restrained and traumatized Dr. Fenus.
Seat Boy's jaw dropped.
He asked, "Bondage Girl, you're... safe?"Bondage Girl looked at Seat Boy with a thrilled look in her eyes.
She answered excitedly, "Of course, my Macho Masochisto!"Dr. Fenus could take many things. His Parents caused him many insults in school. But this was not acceptable.
He suddenly turned red and freed himself of the rope. He was obviously embarrassed.
He screamed in an incredibly evil voice, "HUNK SMASH!"
He grabbed Bondage Girl and flew into the air, his skin pulsing with hatred. Bondage Girl had an incredibly excited look for someone who had just been kidnapped - again.
Seat Boy sighed.
Note:Hope you enjoyed the chapter! This means we progress from the SAW FOREST, to the next world!
Super Meat Boy
