Introducing Bill! (From Left 4 Dead)

And Louis!

And Francis!

Chapter Two: WARP ZOMBIES
Seat Boy saw a spinning purple thing that had horribly damaged and disfigured arms sticking out of it!
His years of video games had taught him everything he needed to know about quests. Obviously, the only way to progress would be to poke the spinning purple thing!
He walked up to it and poked it, only to be sucked into this spinning vortex!
He found himself flying out the anus of an old dude. There were undead everywhere, and he was furiously shooting. When Seat Boy flew out, he screamed in a blood rage and threw a molotov.
He ran back into his truck, and screamed to two other people, both heavily armed, "Louis! Francis! Cover for me!"
Francis jokingly said, "What, shit yourself again?"
Bill gave Francis an extremely evil Stare, and then walked to the back. Louis and Francis walked out, both of them laughing to eachother.
Seat Boy followed Bill, apparently unnoticed.
Bill turned around after he pulled down his pants. He looked at Seat Boy and mumbled, "Jesus, I don't usually shit giant bloody cubes. And it looks like it has eyes..."
He grumbled and noticed the hole in his pants. He pulled them back on and grumbled again.
Bill was just about to throw Seat Boy away, when Seat Boy pulled a Seat out of his ass and threw it at Bill.
He screamed at the annoying little bastard, "What the shit?!"
He took out his shotgun and started shooting at the now agile Seat Boy, or as Bill knew him, 'The Red pile of living shit'.
Seat Boy screamed, "FUCKING WARP ZO-"
He was interrupted when another portal appeared below them and swallowed them both up.
Bill and Seat Boy were back in their normal world. A Sawell came out of a small hatch.
Bill gasped as it climbed up him and ran down his throat, the attached sawblade cutting him up from the inside.
Seat Boy watched in shock as the scarring event unfolded. The Sawell cut him up from the inside, when it was done, he fell over, a giant bloody line in his back.
Seat Boy was lucky he wasn't wearing pants, as a yellow pool was already forming underneath him.
Seat Boy ran from the extremely intimidating, horrendously fluffy, murderous little sawell.
He ran into a nearby closet, where he heard a voice mumble, "Why the fuck does it smell like piss in here?"
He ran out quickly, the Sawell jumping in. Seat Boy shut the door, pulled out some Seats, and used them to barricade it shut.
Inside, he could hear screams as the Sawell did what it did best.
He ran backwards, his phobia of Saws and fluffy animals attached to them overwhelming him. He tripped and landed in the pit of no return...
TO BE CONTINUED